Keeping Wright's plans......

I wish I could be someone else just for a day. Someone who has not experienced the deep hurt of loss I carry every single day. Everyday since Wright left, I am full of tears waiting to burst at any moment. So unpredictable. I don't pretend to think I am the only human on earth suffering or that my sufferings outweigh anyone else's. To each person, his pain is the worst. And I don't pretend to think because I have been dealt such a blow that my suffering is over...quite the contrary.
Pray for us as we enter the Spring without our Wright. He was so looking forward to Spring 2012. We had so many fun things planned. I am working hard to do everything we planned, but it will not the same without him. It will never be the same. A few of our plans.....cooking, baking, cooking which I actually enjoy now because I feel so close to him when I cook. Cooking for his Daddy and Hill is what he wanted to do more than anything and trying lots of new recipes. Thanks to Pinterest....this has been easy!  Running in the Flying Pig Race in Cincy in May. The route goes by the apartment we lived in and he enjoyed watching all the runners last year. It was his idea for the two of us to run this spring when he was better. In his memory, several awesome friends from Wallace will join us in May. I plan to eat at his fav restaurants while I'm there...just for him.. He loved Terry's Turf Club and The Senate.  Can not forget Bon Bonerie and Graeters while we are there. Denny will be working in our garden planting lots of cucumbers, squash and tomatoes per Wright's request. I will be busy planting the herb garden he wanted as well as planting flowers around the house. We have to go to the beach of course!!! Go to a Cincinnati Reds game.....Watch Hill play baseball and serve refreshments for the players.... He is going to keep us quite busy....There are so many more plans but I think this is a great start!!! His birthday is May 16th which quite honestly scares me to death. Not sure just yet how I'm gonna get through that. Gosh, I love and miss that boy with everything I have.

sweet memories

Its been three months since Wright moved in with Jesus. Seems just like yesterday he left, but then feels like forever since I held him, played with his new hair, smelled that sweet boy smell, heard his belly laugh, snuggled, planned so many adventures......

I feel we have been robbed of our future.....yet I feel we are so blessed!! Can you tell I live in a state of confusion? Thankfully, God understands our pain. We are just surviving the best we can ....a moment at a time.

In the picture below....our last night in Cincy....we had such big plans...so happy....no clue what was to come..such special tender moments, nothing could of prepared us for the pain... .thank you God for every single second with Wright!!!

 God knew these two would get me through tough days....My precious sweet Hill and Jolly Cocoa Biscuits...silly girl!!

God gave Hill the cutest personality that lights up the room and makes my heart melt!!!

I have been home with him the past two days, he is sick with strep. I have enjoyed our snuggling time! He misses his brother so. So hard sometimes to help him understand, especially when I dont. Grieving is hard, tricky stuff.

Please continue to pray for our family. I wish I could say things were easier or less painful, but its not. We are all grieving in our own unique way. Very different from one another. Thanking God for keeping at least one of us strong each day to pull the other two along.

Running my first 5k of the year, Lo-Tide at Carolina Beach in Wright's memory. Thanks for the friends running with us tomorrow....March 17th...exactly three months.